LF Syndrome

I’ve discovered I have LF Syndrome. I’ve struggled with the symptoms for quite a few years now, but didn’t realize there was a term for it until today. It’s Loose-File Syndrome. Basically, it means that the many ‘files’ in my brain that store a broad range of miscellaneous crap keep coming loose and contaminating other ‘folders’.

For example, today, as I entered our Credit Card payment report, I began singing ‘Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree, merry merry king of the bushes he, laugh kookaburra, laugh kookaburra, save some there for me!’

See? The file marked stupid kids songs obviously got loose and dumped ‘Kookaburra' into my ‘accounting’ file. (Yeah, yeah, 'Their coming to take me away! HA HA!')

This is not the only time it’s happened and certainly not the first time today.

One way to evaluate whether you have LF Syndrome (often confused with circular thinking) is to trace your thought process backwards to see if you can find the trigger that made you jump from accounting to ‘Kookaburra’. I tried. I could find no triggers. Not even a co-worker that may have been humming. It just ‘fell’ from one file to another. Obviously a true sign of LF Syndrome.

I have found that I suffer with the circular thinking too, but it’s a little less frustrating since I can usually track my thought process. For example, with Circular thinking, you might be running an internal dialogue/thought process and realize after a few minutes, that whereas you started out thinking about the fact that you’re coming down with a cold, you are now contemplating the latest Tom Cruise stupid stunt. How? How did I get from ‘I’ve got a sore throat’ to Tom Cruise jumping on a couch? Well, to discover that, you have to follow your thinking process backward.

Hmm, Tom Cruise… oh yeah, he was in War of the Worlds. He can be so over the top, good movie though. What did War of the Worlds have to do with anything? Oh yeah, the whole premise is that the common cold virus brought the entire alien civilization to their knees… Ah Ha! My common cold could kill off an entire alien civilization! I wonder if Tom Cruise is part alien?

At least now I have a name for my disorders. It doesn’t make them any easier to bear, but I do have an excuse now for singing random songs for no reason.

“la, la, la, la, la, la, laa, la, la, la, la….” (That’s the Smurfs theme song, in case you didn’t recognize it.)

A.

'Surface' Tension

Do any of you watch Surface on NBC? Last night was the season finale (way too early in my opinion.) All season we've watched Laura, Rich and Miles search for the answers about these new lizard like creatures that are taking over the oceans and killing people. We've finally been told that the creatures are man made and that there is a massive underground Science facility that has been secretly cloning things long before Dolly the Sheep. (Or is that the Dolly Lamb-a? Sorry, couldn't resist. You can flog me later.)

Laura and Rich broke into the plant and discovered a genetic Noah's Ark, so to speak, being loaded on trains and run deep into the Mariana trench at the bottom of the ocean. Above ground, the sea creatures have ripped up the ocean floor so much that they've caused a 9.5 earthquake setting off a bi-coastal tsunami. Laura and Rich finally meet Miles as they're fleeing the coastal area. As the giant wave is racing toward them, they race into a church and climb to the steeple. The final shot is of them standing on the roof overlooking the now flooded landscape. Sea creatures swim around the flooded buildings and Laura says, 'It's a whole new world.'

That's the end. Are you kidding me?! How am I ever going to stand the wait for new episodes?! As it was, I was shouting at the t.v. and holding my breath. If the last few episodes are that intense, how will my nerves handle a 9 month hiatus?

I think TV producers need to get with the times and schedule their shows more like we schedule our kids school time. A lot of schools now go year round with just a few weeks off ever so many months. Wouldn't that be a lot better option for the tv viewers like me? Give me new episodes for two months and take a one month break, then repeat the cycle. Or, if you must, try what Stargate does. Air for three months, break three months, Air three months, break again. It's not fun, but it's a whole lot easier on the nerves than waiting nine months! (I know, Pregnancy is gonna kill me.)

You're probably thinking I'd be better off, if I just wouldn't get so tied up in the story lines. I mean it's only TV right? Wrong! It's like living a different life, taking a vacation or being a daredevil - all without the lies, expense or risk. I need that kind of outlet and escape and very few tv shows can offer that right now.

So needless to say, I find myself full of 'Surface' tension. They'd better not cancel this one.

A.

What's in a name?

Shakespeare claimed that a rose by any other name would still smell just as sweet. Despite my love of Shakespeare, I'm not sure I completely agree with him on this one.

True, in the actual logical/scientific sense, a rose will smell the same even if you call it stink weed. But on the more philosophical/emotional side, do you really want a dozen long stem stinkweeds for Valentine's Day? I don't care how good they smell, the name does not say 'romance'.

I think our personal names are much the same. Would Romeo and Juliette have been as piercingly romantic if it had been Chuck and Juliette? Or maybe Herbie and Juliette? Now, I'm not saying Chuck or Herbie are bad names, but they don't give you the same romantic image do they?

So, needless to say, when it comes to naming my characters, I take it seriously. Besides the obvious research of looking to see how popular the name was at the time my character was born and whether it's regionally acurate (american, Scottish, etc.) I also check the meanings behind the name. My collosal Baby name book is my best friend. I think it's important that the meaning of the characters name reflects who they are as a person. Are they daring? Sweet? Mean?

Usually I don't have too much trouble finding the perfect name. However, I'm hitting a brick wall today. I'm trying to name a character in my chick-lit. He's an important secondary character, one who will become the true love interest in the end. He's reliable and sweet and romantic and a great friend. The name that keeps coming to mind is 'Sam'. When I look up the meaning it says, 'God hears'. Which kind of works since the heroine realizes that he is the answer to all her prayers (so to speak), but when I hear 'Sam' I'm not sure I think romantic lead.

Am I nuts? Does this name ring romance to anyone else? I've tried dozens of other names, but Sam just keeps popping back up. Does Sam conjur up "best guy friend of no romantic interest' or 'best guy friend just waiting in the wings to sweep you off your feet'?

I'm gonna have to think a little longer on this one.
A.

Happy Ground Hog Day!

It's Groundhog Day. No, I mean it's REALLY Groundhog day, the actual holiday. News says 'ol Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow so we get six more weeks of winter. I guess Phil doesn't know that we haven't HAD any winter yet in Missouri. Not that I'm complaining. I love the great weather. I'm just leary of how that's going to affect our dog days of summer. Thank God for central air.

Today was slow, but not a repeat of living hell week where I lived Groundhog Day. My only theory today, is that someone turned all our clocks upside down so that time would run backward. Today seemed to just creeeeep by.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. I'm doing the pre-weekend boogie. (No! Don't look, it's not pretty!)

Get down with your badself,

A.

Pets are People Too

Pets are people too. They’ve got personality and feelings just like the rest of us. They sulk, smile, dance and cuddle.

They also get the weirdest cravings.

I’ve had several pets over the years that chose unusual treats. My deaf cat Jonathon loved doughnuts. Any kind would get his motor rumbling, but especially the powdered sugared. Mom had to lock them away in a cupboard or he would eat them. Once, he managed to get the door open. We came home to find every doughnut had one feline sized bite out of the top.

Raquel, (Rocky for short) liked spicy food. She was a shepherd/husky mix but I used to call her my little Chihuahua girl. Salsa, chili, jalapenos… she loved spicy food. She also loved peanut butter. She was the only dog I’ve known that could open a jar of peanut butter like a normal human. We’d come home to find the jar sitting upright in the floor, lid unscrewed and laying neatly beside it and a giant groove licked through the middle of the peanut butter. She had the longest tongue on a dog. She could give Gene Simmons a run for his money.

Jack, my current blue-eyed baby boy, loves Jelly Belly’s, Suckers and fruit. He’s even been known to gobble down tomatoes. He doesn’t like cucumbers, but give him oranges, grapes (I know, I just found out you’re not supposed to feed them grapes), apples, pineapple, strawberries, nectarines… the list probably goes on and on. If he smells it, he’s begging for it. What dog likes fruit?

He’s hysterical when it comes to suckers. The first time he begged for mine, I held it for him while he sucked on it. (I was finished with it – just thought you should know that.) My nephew didn’t know that though, so he just gave it to him. I looked over to find Jack lying in the floor with the stick between his paws, gnawing away. He ate the thing down to the stick and left the stick in the floor. Jelly Belly’s are hysterical too. He can hear those things rattle from the other end of the house. (Despite the fact that he can’t hear me telling him to come in at night – he’s got selective hearing.) I give him all the flavors I don’t like. Like black licorice and jalapeno.

(Now before you all freak out over what I feed my dog, trust me when I say these treats are few and minimal in size. But I can’t deny him completely. Those big blue eyes just melt my heart.)

Maybe I spoil my baby, but like I said, pets are people too. I draw the line at dressing him up though… I think they deserve to keep their dignity in tact.

A.