Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Way back when... Mork roamed the earth

I got an email today. You know, the kind that's poking fun at all the "old" people by telling them all the things college kids today didn't experience. Only this one wasn't so funny - I actually feel old.

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things..

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1987.They are too young to remember the first space shuttle blowing up on liftoff. Their lifetime has always included AIDS. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. The CD was introduced the year they were born. They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
(Lucky them, those are torture devices)
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. (Come on! Mork Ruled! I wanted to drink with my finger and sit on my head.)
They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane".
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
(Did your mom wash and reuse the styrofoam boxes for school lunches? Imagine the disappontment when you find PB&J instead of a burger.)
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

I'm floored. How can my ten years seniority make that much difference? I actually remember all of this stuff. I may not have cared about J.R., but I sure as heck remember all the controversy over who shot him. I think it's sad that they've never experienced Mork from Ork. his rainbow suspenders are legendary. As is Jonathan Winters hatching from the egg that Mork laid. How cool would it be to live life backwards?

It's just too sad that these legendary things have been lost to the newest gen. So, as my part in saving the history, I'm creating a list of things that must be experienced by this younger generation.

1. Watch 'Mork & Mindy'
2. Make a mixed tape without cutting off any songs at the end, or leaving long gaps of dead air. (Tape, not CD.)
3. Heck, for that matter, play a RECORD. The static really adds character.
4. Rent a dvd with REAL cartoons, like Tail Spin, Ducktales or The Jetsons. (In emergency, subscribe to Boomerang, they play real cartoons.)
5. Rollerskate on four wheels rather than two.
6.Fall on the ground and shout, "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
7. Leave your cell phone, pager and/or blackberry's at home and spend the day using a payphone.
8. Ride backwards in the flip up rear bench of a stationwagon.
9. Even better, due it in August, in shorts with no air conditioning so the vinyl is only two degrees shy of the melting point.
10. Repeat after me... 'What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?' Follow this statement with a cute, pouty frown. If this means nothing to you, find reruns of 'Different Strokes' and watch repeatedly.

What would you preserve?


chubby-girl said...

Love it! I too remember all of those things!! I definitely agree on the rollerskates part. I have real rollerskates, not rollerblades. I LOVED Mork & Mindy! I think one of the things I miss the most was...things were just a little simpler then. I think I would tell people to slow down and enjoy childhood and life. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up!!! Okay, I'm done Peter Panning.

chubby-girl said...

After that email that was sent around I realized ALF was my main man back then. They were still showing re-runs of ALF within the last couple of years and he apparently has/had his own talk show. Crazy.