Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Tire of your old drapes? Here's a new use...

Song Stuck on the Brain: Crying by Roy Orbison

I was flipping through a Spiegel catalog that came in the mail today, when I spotted these pants. I about choked. They look like Julie Andrews' attempt at drapery fashion, only worse. I mean really, doesn't fashion require you to do more than take down the drapes and wrap them around your waist? To top it off, I think they stole the leftover couch upholstery for the jacket.

The catalog advertises these as 'Pleated Wide-leg pants'. That's three words that make anyone bigger than a size four cringe.

Why in this toothpick thin driven world would you design a pair of pants destined to make you look a minimum of 4 sizes bigger than you are? An elephant could use these as leg warmers.

I don't get it. Some of the clothes in the catalog are adorable, and despite all the models being a size 0, most of the styles could be adapted for a wide range of sizes and still look good. But these? Come on! They're ugly as window treatments, they do nothing for your figure, and they could cause someone to mistake you for a picture window.

The terrifying thing about these pants, is not just that they're the harbinger of bad fashion, but that they could lead to more home decor/fashion mistakes. What's next? Mini blind skirts? It wouldn't surprise me, seeing as we have plenty of 'peek-a-boo' fashion already.

It's just too sad. With so many style options available, why would you choose grandma's drapes?

Straight Legged and Satisfied


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