Childhood Ditties

Song Stuck on the Brain: Comet, it gets your bathroom clean, Comet, it tastes like Listerine, Comet it makes you vomit, so get some Comet, and vomit today....

Does anyone else remember this song from grade school? I have Rusty to thank for teaching it to me in the 5th grade. It wasn't the worst one I learned, but for some reason, it is the one that has stuck around the longest.

I've had this song running around in my head off and on for about a week now. While our family was together Sunday afternoon for lunch, I brought it up and it got us to all talking about the naughty little ditties we learned as kids. Most of us could remember pieces of them, but not the whole song.

There were the usual's, like "All the girls in France don't wear any underpants...", "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, Robin laid an egg...", etc. Out of curiosity, I googled some of these lyrics and stumbled across several sites that hosted threads where people trades these songs back and forth. Let me tell ya, the naughty ditties I learned were practically pristine compared to some of those. Sheesh. Anyway, I found a few that I recognized and had forgotten, like Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts, On Top of Spaghetti and the revamped Barney song. Then there were the remakes of Popeye the Sailor man. There were many versions and I'd only heard two.

I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a garbage can
I eat all the worms
And suck out the germs
I'm Popeye the sailor man.

I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a frying pan
I turned on the Gas
And burned off my A**
I'm Popeye the Sailor man.

The other versions made me blush. I did find a new ditty though that made me smile. In fact I can't wait to sing it for Dad, because I know he'll like it. It's to the tune of God Bless America.

God bless my underwear
my only pair
stand beside it,
and guide it
through the holes and the rips and the tears.
From the washer,
to the dryer,
to the clothesline,
wild and free,
God bless my underwear,
my only pair.

Which ones do you remember?
A.