Friday, November 16, 2007

A God Thing

Song Stuck on the Brain: She's in Love with the Boy by Tricia Yearwood.

Well, here it is 1:30 am on Friday and I'm just now posting for Thursday. I'd planned to post earlier, but got tangled up in writing the last four chapters of my book. Yay! I have a first draft. It came in a little over 77,500, but once I do some editing it will probably drop a little. I still hope to have this baby in the mail to the agent before Thanksgiving. We'll see if that happens. It's only a week away and I'm out of half days at work. It's back to a full time schedule.

I did have a really cool God thing happen Tuesday at the doctor's office. It actually started a few days earlier. I'd started having a little pity party for myself over my scar.

Let me say first, that I am VERY thankful for everything. My doctors are fantastic, I couldn't have asked for better. My nurses were great, my friends and family were there every step of the way and more people than I could name prayed for me. I know I was tremendously blessed. I'm thankful that the tumor is gone, and that I am now healing very quickly. In fact, I've been very upbeat through out this whole thing.

Until a couple of days ago.

I can actually see my scar now that the wound vac is gone. I change the dressings myself and let me tell you, right now it's absolutely hideous. Because of the complications and the nature of wound healing, the incision healed asymmetrically. One side of it sealed down and the other side of my abdomen (standing straight up) is now scarring over. My belly button is there, but it's been pulled around and under so that it's hard to see. I have a very visible gash.

I knew the scar would be big, and I already had a longer scar on my stomach from kidney surgery when I was 8, so I really hadn't cared that I would have a new, wider scar. I didn't expect it to looks so deformed. I told God that I was really thankful for everything, but why did I have to have such an ugly scar? I mean, I don't need anything else to make me feel more unattractive and freakish.

Hence my pity party, because really, it was ridiculous to be so upset over it. I could have worse scars in much worse places. It was just something that I got stuck in my head.

Anyway, at the doctor's Tuesday, he changed the dressing and we chatted, but I never mentioned my concern over the scar. As I was leaving, one of the nurses stopped me to see how I was healing. As I was getting ready to leave, she said, "And just think, in another week or two it will lay down and smooth out."

My jaw dropped a little and I laughed and said, "Well, that's nice to hear, I was beginning to think I was just going to be deformed for life."

"Oh, no. After a certain point in the healing, it softens and lays down flat. It won't always look like it does now."

Now, how cool is that? God knew I was upset about this petty little thing and even though it was a silly concern in the big picture of it all, He still took care of me. He gave me reassurance from someone who didn't even know I needed it. It's little things like that, that always remind me how much God is a present God. He doesn't just sit back at a distance and watch us float aimlessly. He's right there with us every step of the way, caring about even the little concerns.

That's what I call a God thing.

By the way, I mentioned once before I'd post a picture of the tumor. It's not pretty, so I'm posting it as a link. Click to see Mini Me. Just for reference, the black arrow is pointing to my ovary. It's about the size of a walnut. The tumor itself is about the diameter of a basketball.

1 comment:

Donna Alice said...

Glad you got good news about the scar--sometimes we do sweat the small stuff. Good to know He answers.